Pericolo! Driving in Sicily

I posted the other day, asking for advice on where to go in Sicily.  I've so far received two long, informative and harrowing comments from Thor Iverson of Oenologic.  I wanted to make sure everyone read them, because they are so entertaining.

Here's the first one about where to go and what to see.

Occhipinti in Sicily. (Don't fall in love.) Her dad & his partners at COS. Frank Cornelissen. (Bring your wallet.)

Caffe Sicilia (corso Vittorio Emanuele, 125) is an artisanal gelato and cannoli place in Noto that you absolutely will not believe; the gelati are from things foraged the day before by the proprietor, and the cannoli will make you forget every other cannolo you've ever experienced (except perhaps the one in The Godfather).

Maurì (via Tagliamento, 22) in Portopalo di Capo Passero, just for the antipasti.

Erice, for at least a night (the thing is the sleep there, but maybe not try to drive or park there). Eat at Monte San Giuliano (vicolo San Rocco, 7) for the fish cous-cous.

Definitely a meal at Cantina Siciliana (via Giudecca, 36) in Trapani, especially for the octopus.

Bartoli in Marsala. Piazza Armerina. All of the Greek temples you can find time to see. Taormina, but only with the right (touristy) expectations. Palermo, of course. The basilica in Cefalu. Mt. Etna on a clear day (one out of ten).

Hire a driver. Don't drive. DO NOT DRIVE.

I asked why he advised one not to drive in such strong terms.  Here is his reply.  It's both hilarious and daunting.

We were rear-ended (by an Aston-Martin) within five hours of our arrival. While stopped at railroad tracks. With an oncoming train well within sight.

There are no lights or stop signs in many towns; if you honk first, you get to go, unless you don't. And unless you're on a Vespa. People drive with their side mirrors folded in (which you will also do), because there's no way to drive down streets or even on freeways without those inches of extra horizontal room. Impossibly twisty one-lane roads are, of course, four-lane roads as used by Sicilians. And, naturally, they're high-speed four-lane roads.

We were almost run off the cliff by a Lamborghini (high enough for a full thirty seconds before our fiery death) on the way up to Erice. Thank God for his turning radius.

We waited 25 minutes to merge at an intersection in Palermo...in light traffic. I'm not exaggerating. And no one was even honking at us, because it's apparently completely normal to wait that long. If we'd been willing to have a crushed front fender, of course, we could have gone at any time. Take a look at coaches and limos there, and they all have them.

We returned the rental car full of scratches and dents, and were told they were completely normal for Sicilian rentals and we wouldn't be charged, as long as the Aston-Martin guy drove an hour and a half to Catania and handed over his insurance info. (Which, thankfully, he did.)

Driving in any other part of Italy is to driving in Sicily as driving in rural Kansas is to driving a cab on the leading edge of a Manhattan rush hour.

The Sicilians were wonderful, warm people, and we enjoyed each and every one of them. Until they got behind the wheel of a car. At which point they all drove like they had one-inch penises. And I mean that affectionately, of course. ;-)

 

Oh my God. 

Thank you, Thor.  I think.

Comments

[Francesco]

I'm not Sicilian (I'm Venetian, then possibly more used to drive boats than cars..actually not really) but allow me to dissent strongly regarding the advice on driving in Sicily.

At least for a northeen Italian who has been spending some holidays there I found Sicilians rather slow when driving (in Palermo at least 1/3 of the speed of a car in Milan with no traffic), rather predictable (except the 80 years old countryside man with the "coppola") and not particularly stressed (go to naples to see what stress is...especially for a non Neapolitan...driving there).

Driving in Sicily is not more troublesome than driving in Paris and certainly much less than driving in Manhattan.

Of course you can opt for hiring a driver, and if it is a good and nice guy you'll enjoy even more the presentation of the island, but if one is looking for independency, intimacy and of course a cheaper solution hire a car and do not stress too much.

Only...be careful about leavings things in the car (because the problem is that a rental car can be very easily identified) and I haven't seen any suggestion on Palermo...one of the most beautiful Italian cities. A bit wild, still damaged from the bombing of 1943, but so full of secrets!

And of course since you will be spending some time in the wine area (around Vittoria especially...Cerasuolo etc..) go to Ragusa and Scicli (this latter especially at night, when the "Maschere" of the baroccos palace look at you with strange faces.

And then if you have nostalgy of Burgundy you can always have a Faro Palari...you won't even imagine that it comes from Sicily.

[Strappo]

Francesco, I've driven in Naples and it didn't seem all that different from New York -- they passed on the right like New Yorkers, and I didn't see anyone do that in other areas. And I'm not sure we could afford to hire a driver for all the traveling we'd have to do.

Maybe Thor just had uncommonly bad luck. (Let's hope so.)

Thanks for your other suggestions on things to see and taste.

[Thor]

Hopefully, we did just have bad luck.

I'd agree that the driving in Palermo was much slower than Milan, but that's because the roads were so clogged (which they would have been in many cases did the Sicilians not often treat painted lines as a drivable lane).

But I find driving in Manhattan easy, so maybe I'm just weird that way.

[Strappo]

Manhattan is easy, Grasshopper. Brooklyn is hard.

[Thor]

That's "wouldn't have been" in the above comment.

Oh, and I agree about security. You'll also have to watch very carefully for the parking lot scammers, who will attempt to charge you for free parking (sometimes they even wear police outfits and hand out actual stolen tickets, believe it or not), and if you fail to pay them will target your car for theft, or so the locals told us. They're certainly not unique to Sicily, of course.

[Peter]

I've got to add
I was in Sicily this summer, I rented a car (Renault Laguna), it had 16km on it when i left the rental area. It was keyed the next day and one other time later. I damaged the rear bumper when backing up to allow a car to pass on a two way street that is only wide enough for one way traffic. For two weeks my kids heard me say "Signs are only a suggestion kids" I'm a much better driver now .Surprisingly there isn't the road rage there like there is in Toronto, people just accept the situation and deal with it.

If I go back i'll rent another car but an Italian car with more Kilometers on it.

Driving is an adventure there, the real downside to being the driver is that you miss the really great scenary thoughout the island, because there's always a hairping turn 100 meters down the road.

[strappo]

Sounds like a great trip, a few dings and key scratches later. You're right, as the driver you're always missing the great scenery.

I have to focus the ancient party with the wool Irish-type cap perched atop his head, driving erratically in an old Fiat Punto. Justine Paglia (of Poggio Argentiera) rightly calls them "a breed."